Two in one day...wait, one weekend....

...and I have a hundred tasks to do, but my pain really flared up yesterday, with Dan's reaction to his meds, and probably this new bed wedge I could'nt afford, but had SUCH HIGH HOPES for, but I hurt a lot more after two hours lying on it..anyway, I need a day off so once again, the hundred things pulling at me to get done have to wait.

I think this is what is currently termed a "self care" day.

I'm lying on my elevated sofa bed (it's on bricks, because I can really hurt myself getting up from too low a position) with Danny snoring beside me, tooling around here - etsy, pinterest,  blogs I follow not-about-dogs, videos on jewelry making...Alex is making pizza, a weekend ritual, we call pizza-and-terrorism, because we seem to watch one terrorist type thing after another these days - just finished Homeland and now a rewatch of 24. Alex prefers these types of shows, and sci-fi, to the moody British dramas and various fantasy series I tend to favour, but we have watched oodles of those and hey,I can appreciate a good action series, no question.

I have a few emails to get to and then basically I did nothing today...nothing work related, anyway. I made a meatloaf for the boys, and the usual 54876 dishes, and blogged here.
Moments like this life almost feels...normal.

But then, I took pictures with my crappy 15 year old digital camera, pics of the garden and animals, almost all crappy (because 15 years...) and the reality caught me by the heart again. I want to take a zillion pictures because this is probably Dan's last summer on earth, and I hate the idea of recording anything...because it is probably Dan's last summer on earth.

Wanting to record it all won out.

I had planned to start using the good camera Alex bought me over a year ago, but not in this heat wave (which looks like it will not break in the next two weeks) and not with Dan so unwell. Focus for me: work, staying in positivity as much as I can, feeding Dan. And making sure I have time for my cats (Mithrandir in particular suffers without regular, focused Mom time) and Zeke and Korky.

Spread thin, yes, but in the best of all possible ways...because the love of my animals, and the rewards of my work, are what keep me going, when everything inside me wants to just collapse into fetal position and  sob.

Today there will be blueberry pancakes (for us,and roast chicken, hopefully for Dan) and the last season of 24, and badly needed rain. And, today too, there is still my soulmate..weaker and obviously unwell, but still here and interested in food and his walks. Today, still, I have my Dan.


Yesterday

 

Part of a luscious stand of  Rosebay Willowherb - useful for bladder and prostate issues...

As always, The Zeke is concerned about Mom

Kitchen bouquet with herbs grown by me, and wild

The raised beds did not get put in this year as planned, leaving me with many more herbs than I can raise in pots. Many found good homes locally, but nobody wanted the mugwort or the evening primrose, seen as "weeds' by most.

I will just have to find places to plant them and watch them flourish - beautiful medicinals, both.






The lilac Alex brought me two years ago - something I miss so much from "home" (Rupert)...doing pretty well.

Danny, my love...too hot to be out much, but he still likes a toodle around the yard.

Happy Sunday, my peeps. I'm off to start my cooking.