And now, the love of my life is gone, and here I stand, sobbing, bereft, broken hearted.

Alex says, I need to write, it is balm for my soul, I need to tell his story, I need to use the written word to touch others. But right now I just cannot. I think I am still in shock, I was doing well yesterday, but then fell apart mid afternoon and have barely been able to sleep.I keep returning over and over to Daniel's last moments. I can't sleep well, I can barely eat. Right now, I am not ok.  Although I promised him I would be, I am seriously not.

Later I will write about how his illness unfolded, how he died, how we missed the cancer, why finding it likely would not have extended his life by much,  but would have spared him some pain, and so on. Right now I am too numb to do that...numb, sick with loss, lonely....longing for him.

 

Lioncastle's Daniel of Sarjo
August 8 2006 - February 4 2021

My heart, my love, my anam cara

I love you forever.