Saturday around here has long been "scrambled egg day". It's one of my cherished little routines I always did with the dogs - first, Zeke and Amara and Danny, then Zeke and Danny, and finally no one, because Danny is gone from this material plane, and Zeke decided he doesn't really love his eggs scrambled anymore.
I got teased about this, with Alex saying they get eggs anyway (boiled) and dogs don't really care about different modes of preparation...he is sooo wrong about that!
But he came to see how excited the boys were, when I made their lunch on Saturday. This is a pic with Amara, bless her heart, and it was likely a cookie time, but these were the expressions at lunch on Saturday.
Yesterday I was in tears half the day missing Scrambled Egg Day, even though Danny decided to stop eating them last summer, along with all his veggies, period full stop.
I often think of his cancer, how I missed it (there was rationale for missing it, not any kind of wishful thinking on my part) but I also have to remember that he didn't get it till he was 13 1/2 (ish; we don't have an exact date or anything, but I first saw the blood in February of 2020) and he lived another full year. We have very good studies linking vegetable consumption (and hence, flavonoids that provide anti-cancer benefits) with a lowered risk of TCC (the type of bladder cancer he likely had - transitional cell carcinoma).
Here's one: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16013542/
"Scottish Terriers who consume vegetables three times per week in addition to regular dog food have a 70% reduced risk for TCC "
So although Danny did have herbicide exposure at the old house, we fought it off a long time, didn't we.
A few of Dan's meals, prior to summer 2020 when he started to get picky.
All meals were part of his NRC balanced home made diet.
Assorted meat and veg; I spy a little pile of herbal powder on the top
Egg, lean beef, turkey, grated apple, kale, pumpkin, supplements
Chicken, beef, beef liver, winter squash, rosehips, calcium, beets
Ground turkey, broccoli, celery, red cabbage, sweet potato and I see blueberries in there, which were certain to be licked clean and spat out, every.single.time
quickie lunch of egg, beef tripe, sardines and sweet potato
I always added cruciferous veg to Dan's bowls and he liked broccoli well enough to eat bites right from my hand. Beets became important after his heart disease diagnosis; happily, he enjoyed them. https://www.ornish.com/zine/dont-skip-a-beet/
Chicken, bone broth, spinach, sardine, diced chicken hearts, sweet potato. He loved some warm stew after a chilly winter walk...
Shredded beef, salmon chunks, beets, winter squash and carrots - pile of calcium etc in the middle
Chicken breast and gizzards, sweet potato, kale
My favorite pic of all, because his dear sweet little nose is in there. Turkey, beef, kale, rosehips, shredded apple and carrots.
So instead of beating myself up because he eventually developed a cancer no doubt related to where we lived, I think I can focus on the fact he still lived well past the breed's typical lifespan and was in pretty good shape until close to the end. We got 14 1/2 years, Dan! If only it were more.
I miss him oh so desperately. I don't need to call myself a bad mom, really, do I?
No, Cat, you could NEVER be a "bad mom". Death is part of the life cycle. And while we never have enough time to make all the good memories we want, we keep the ones we do have in our heart forever so they're never really gone. As tears roll down my face for the ones I've loved and lost.....
ReplyDeleteThank you for the comment! I am so sorry for your losses too. I just wish I had realized that January would be our last month, I was redoubling my efforts to get work projects done; I worked nonstop. But I truly believed we had time.
DeleteI was always good and loving and kind to Danny, always.I just worked too much. But if I didn't we would never have had those meals above. We all do our best, and if we have love, that's everything. Perfection is an illusion; love is eternal.